A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend and after a pause in our semi-serious conversation about life's difficulties I said "Growing up is hard isn't it?" My question was met with whole hearted agreement. I've had this conversation with a number of friends since then and we all agree: Growing up is hard! Unfortunately I'm told it doesn't get any easier.
Moving forward:
My life was put on halt the last few days as I've struggled to do my taxes alone. My situation combined with my procrastination left me without a chance to use an accountant. I signed the papers, mailed my check and kissed by forms goodbye this afternoon. As frustrating as doing my own taxes (with the blessed help of my Mother!) was, I'm glad to know much more about them. I already knew alot more than the average eighteen year old from all the forms I filled out last year in math, but that was simple because the book named all the numbers with the same terminology as the tax forms. Using a real life, amaturely recorded business makes life much more difficult. Thankfully, everything found a place at the end of this trying process and I have new ideas for record keeping and forms.
Growing up:
My journey through highschool has proved to be a joyous, painful, depressing and exhilarating lesson in life. These last two years and especially my senior year have been very difficult. I've had amazing highs and horrid lows, but God has faithfully brought me through it all. My only comfort in the most trying, painful and depressing times was knowing that God would teach me through it and it would help me understand someone else someday. After some pathetic prayers over the last few months I am finally getting "back on track" with God and He has done some amazing things to show His faithfulness. (I'll have to post the prom dress story sometime.) If you're currently struggling with something I encourage you to give it up to God, He is faithful and cares for His children in many ways we could never imagine.
One of my favorite verses the last few months has been:
PSALM 37: 24
"When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand." NASB
The NIV translation is worded differently - I love the NASB wording, it has been such a comfort.
Fixing my life:
I know that most of you already know that my life has been a disaster this year. As I speak I have 3 papers (including a research paper) due in 2 and a half weeks, prom decor, prom dress alters, 3 months of history and literature, prep for camp, senior pictures and backlog in my business hanging over my head. Right now I'm working on being more productive and more godly while being less of a procrastinator and less distracted. I've trained myself to be very unfocused so I now have a very short attention span. I have a disorder called CBS (no, not the broadcasting company - it stands for Cluttered Brain Syndrome). :D While I'm joking about the "disorder", the "CBS" has become a very serious issue for me and has made studying especially difficult. I'm currently working on focusing, being less distracted and working productively.
Some of the main "fixes" I'm working on are: managing time; going to bed earlier; having clear, open and honest communication; improving relationships with family; settting study habits; using the computer less (as I write this long post :-); and many other things. If you feel led to support me in prayer I would certainly appreciate it!
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