Moving forward, Growing up and Fixing my life

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend and after a pause in our semi-serious conversation about life's difficulties I said "Growing up is hard isn't it?" My question was met with whole hearted agreement. I've had this conversation with a number of friends since then and we all agree: Growing up is hard! Unfortunately I'm told it doesn't get any easier.

Moving forward:
My life was put on halt the last few days as I've struggled to do my taxes alone. My situation combined with my procrastination left me without a chance to use an accountant. I signed the papers, mailed my check and kissed by forms goodbye this afternoon. As frustrating as doing my own taxes (with the blessed help of my Mother!) was, I'm glad to know much more about them. I already knew alot more than the average eighteen year old from all the forms I filled out last year in math, but that was simple because the book named all the numbers with the same terminology as the tax forms. Using a real life, amaturely recorded business makes life much more difficult. Thankfully, everything found a place at the end of this trying process and I have new ideas for record keeping and forms.

Growing up:
My journey through highschool has proved to be a joyous, painful, depressing and exhilarating lesson in life. These last two years and especially my senior year have been very difficult. I've had amazing highs and horrid lows, but God has faithfully brought me through it all. My only comfort in the most trying, painful and depressing times was knowing that God would teach me through it and it would help me understand someone else someday. After some pathetic prayers over the last few months I am finally getting "back on track" with God and He has done some amazing things to show His faithfulness. (I'll have to post the prom dress story sometime.) If you're currently struggling with something I encourage you to give it up to God, He is faithful and cares for His children in many ways we could never imagine.

One of my favorite verses the last few months has been:

PSALM 37: 24
"When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand." NASB

The NIV translation is worded differently - I love the NASB wording, it has been such a comfort.

Fixing my life:
I know that most of you already know that my life has been a disaster this year. As I speak I have 3 papers (including a research paper) due in 2 and a half weeks, prom decor, prom dress alters, 3 months of history and literature, prep for camp, senior pictures and backlog in my business hanging over my head. Right now I'm working on being more productive and more godly while being less of a procrastinator and less distracted. I've trained myself to be very unfocused so I now have a very short attention span. I have a disorder called CBS (no, not the broadcasting company - it stands for Cluttered Brain Syndrome). :D While I'm joking about the "disorder", the "CBS" has become a very serious issue for me and has made studying especially difficult. I'm currently working on focusing, being less distracted and working productively.

Some of the main "fixes" I'm working on are: managing time; going to bed earlier; having clear, open and honest communication; improving relationships with family; settting study habits; using the computer less (as I write this long post :-); and many other things. If you feel led to support me in prayer I would certainly appreciate it!

Signs of Spring!

Most people, when they think of signs of spring, think of robins, melting snow and bright green sprouts of new grass ; a shift of enviroment that screams "smell me, feel me, rejoice in me - I am Spring!" But in the little seven and four year old minds of my three little siblings, those signs mean nothing and generally go unnoticed. For them there is only one sign that spring is here, hibernation is over and it's time to go outside: Blaze Orange. When the blaze orange hunting jacket appears out our back door in the backyard adject to ours the kids don't think it might be spring - they know it's spring. This bright jacket is worn by our backyard neighbor, Mr. Roader who the children affectionately call "Grampa Roader" because they love him dearly. Today Joshua was the first one to spot him and he went running. Flying around corners trying to find mom. Mom's phone call was immediatly interupted by Joshua's exhilerated exclamation: "It's SUMMMERRR!!!!!" - Mom knew what that meant. Seconds later Caleb comes dashing into the room and proclaims, "Mr. Roader's out!" Their faces are pure glee as they run around getting their outdoor clothes on.

To all of you who have felt this year that Spring was reluctant to come, I am happy to announce that it has arrived! I must admit that though Mom and I love all the traditional signs of Spring, it never seems official until Mr. Roader comes out and then we can't help but smile and walk with a bounce in our step. Happy arrival of Spring everyone!

Ps. Please keep my family in your prayers as the last 3 months have been very straining on us. Satan is weasling into our home in every ugly and evil way and we are trying desperatly to remove him. Life has been painful in both good and bad ways and we can only pray that we will lay our selves and our selfishness down at the foot of the cross and let God's love, mercy and grace reign in our family.