A morning at school....

Here's an excerpt from my journal from yesterday:

"My attempts at studying weren't overly successful this morning as I tryed to plow through some written communication homework. Previous visitors to the library had left their perfumes and colognes suspended in the air in pockets around the library forcing me to relocate multiple times. Finally having settled down away from the noisy talkers and smelly air, I focused on studying only to be distracted a few minutes later by a steady but soothing beat reverberating through the library's walls and floor. After a confused minute of contemplation it dawned on me that today was the morning that the Kenyan drummers were performing in the cafeteria. Excited to have some sweet music to study to, I quickly but neatly gathered my books and bags and scampered downstairs. Coming around the corner from the stairwell into the cafeteria I discovered people everywhere. Chairs and tables where overflowing with people, backpacks, cellphones (among other electronic gadgets), and half eaten lunches. People sat on the floor, leaned against posts and anywhere else they could find to.
That brings me up to now [about 12 noon]. Sitting here practicing my writing, soaking in the beautiful and energizing music while chewing my Almond Joy candy bar from Alyssa. Ah... this is the life :) [yes, the smiley face IS in my journal.... lol] I haven't quite figured out what it is about the "college life" thing that I'm enjoying so much - but I really am. [I think it's finally feeling like I'm moving forward and have a "place" and purpose]. I'm only taking one class here right now but it feels like "my school" and I'm enjoying it.
Sitting here serves such a great opportunity for an observation study on people! There are people who dance to the music without abandon and there are people who look terrified at the very thought. There are some who want to dance but hestitate. I sit here thinking that it's great that those people are confident enought to get up and dance without caring, while the girls next to me discuss who looks stupider.
And then there's me.... pretending to know how to write, while bobbing to the music and analyzing the world around me like a physicology geek. :) "

I added the following shortly afterwards:
"I was going to be done on that note but I want to also comment on the fact that a bunch of those who were dancing were disabled people/ people with special needs and I was just thinking about how free they are. They are not held back by fear of what people will think of them or what could happen. They are, perhaps, the freest people in our world."

After the Kenyan's left I had lunch with a homeschool friend who also attends the same Technical school and finished off my day with my ballroom dance class and a bunch of practice. I LOVE ballroom and I'm so excited to be learning it this semester. I may even have the chance to compete! :) It'll take me awhile to get proper posture down though because while I have decent posture, ballroom posture is alittle extreme. lol :)

I'm back!!!

Dear friends and family,

I'm back! (And definitely excited to be back). After five months of more learning, growing, messing up my life and coming to decisions, I am finally back to blogging. I've been wanting to for months, especially for my poor grandmother's sake (she loves reading my blog - sorry Grandma!!!), but I just knew I won't do it.

So the questions arises: Why ARE you writing then Courtney? The answer is simple - because it's time for me to be writing again. I'm taking written communication at a local technical college to help me improve my writing and to get me writing again. I finally came to the conclusion that it was time to move on in my life and pursue my dreams - all of which started with writing. It sounds simple, but what most people don't realize is that I have been scared to death of learning to write. I love journaling, blogging and writing letters, but I have had some really difficult past experiences with my attempts at structured writing. I let my dreams slide (this happened for two or three reasons - fear was one of them) and never pursued any of it further. Over "Christmas Break" (haha - I didn't have anything to break from... ) I was reading a book that Mom gave me for Christmas and I realized my fear and I realized that I had lost site of my passionate dreams (which I believe to be God given) for my future. Fear of many, many things had been holding me back and I didn't even know it!

I tried registaring for a course and found out they were all full. Thankfully, at the start of the semester some of them opened up and I was able to join a class mid week. I'm now doing a bit of "catch up" but I'm so excited to be moving forward. Today was my first day of working on my school and the old anguish threatened to resurface a number of times, but I took a deep breath, reminded myself of why I'm taking this class and pushed forward. I failed last time (last year) I tried - I let my frustrating over take me. I'm NOT GOING TO FAIL again. :) I spent much more time on my assignment then most people may have required and I have other "simple" assignments hanging over my head that I know will take me equally as long, but I'm going to keep pressing on and I'm GOING to learn.

I'd be interested in knowing who all reads my blog so email me or drop me a line on facebook!

In His grip,
Courtney Lynn